Gillian Lee Smith

Wardrobes and Everlasting Love

Gosh I have been neglecting my blog this week. I have missed it and the contact with the world, also the way in which it helps focus my thoughts and motivates me to get on with things. And of course most of all I miss the thought that somewhere, this holds some interest for those who may  be reading this.

Mmm well it has been a bit of an up and down week...the down's include strange petty arguments over nothing on Saturday..... there are only 2 things that get me and Mark niggling at each other (not very often it has to be said) one of which is the old money worries, the second is the ugliness and insecurity that comes from me being over tired and in pain from my back. I become a little monster! Two days sitting on really uncomfortable seating and then a whole day standing on Friday had just proved a little too much for me and my old decrepit spine. So that was Saturday....but it was okay, because he knows me better than I know myself and after half an hour of silliness, and me feeling so empty I just wanted to hide away, I just sat in his arms and cried..... and the pettiness was over.

Sorry, this is turning into a morose tale...it gets better I promise! This week is our 2 year anniversary and we had planned to go to London Tuesday/Wednesday - the place where we met and fell in love. But money is tight and so we decided instead to spend half the money we would have spent on 2 days away...... on a wardrobe! Well I cannot tell you how much in love with this wardrobe I am..okay it is from IKEA, Ok it is not the vintage style loveliness I would normally have wanted to go for, OK it is completely and boringly practical, but we can fit enough in there to fill 2 wardrobes (it is tall enough for a rail above and below and we have so little space in our wee flat) and we don't have to fight to get our clothes of a rail that falls down every five minutes, and it is just .....lovely! Okay enough with the wardrobe.

So instead of going away, we have had 2 lovely days on our own together, just doing our thing. Tuesday we went to our favourite deli for our all time favourite organic cooked breakfast (you wouldn't believe how good this tastes) then just wandering around town, chatting and freezing our butts off. Yesterday we drove out to the Derbyshire Peak District (the place where we dream of living). Stupidly I forgot to take my camera, but it is all green hills and woods, old stone villages and craft shops, mills, the stuff of Jane Eyre and old Sherlock Holmes movies. We ate Bakewell Tart in Bakewell, proper rustic soup and bread and more cake (coffee and walnut) near Matlock and it was just a dream date for our anniversary. It is so important to us to never let the day to day stuff of life take over, and we love our days out in the country - who cares if it makes us seem old before our time - if we are still doing the same stuff when we are 85 then I will be delighted and thankful for the life we will have had together!

I think I shall finish there for today as I have to get back to work. No new artwork to post today, only a new cuff (which are gaining a wee following I think!). I am finishing up a few bits and pieces so shall hopefully be able to display them here over the next couple of days.

So a not particularly art inspired post, but just a little more of the tales of my life. Take care my sweets!

Out with the old - In with the new

Waiting for the Waves

So here is the last of the previous pieces that I would like to display here - and probably the one I love the most. I love the feel of it, the figure, the composition and the title.

This illustration is my personal response to times of heartache, tragedy and fear that so many of us have and will suffer from in our lifetime. Although I cannot claim to have been through anything anywhere near as traumatic as the Asian Tsunami, there have been times in my life where I have hoped there is a presence with me, in whatever form you or I choose to believe that would take. They may be just watching and understanding but they are with you. Although tinged with sadness and longing, it is ultimately comforting.

Waiting for the Waves is for sale in my etsy shop.

Okay so it is unavoidable - I have to make some sort of attempt at new years resolutions - it would not feel right unless I ended the year with some hope of moving forward in the next ! So here are my first few - there will be more to come in the next few days! -

• watch much less abc1 (or learn to craft or work more at the same time - my new found addiction to '8 Simple Rules' is taking over and it has to be addressed!)                                                                                    
• less time ON etsy and more time MAKING STUFF for etsy - again another addiction which has to be brought under control - the forums are great but I am in danger of them taking over my life!
• begin making and submitting items for the weekly etsy creative challenge - seems like such a great way of broadening my ideas and I would love the challenge or working on new ideas
• all the ideas I have constantly running around my mind about the work I want to create - well my biggest and probably most challenging resolution and goal is to MAKE THEM! Seriously - I have to get over this lack of confidence in my work which causes me to procrastinate so much the I become paralysed by a complete inablility to create and make - I am going to work so hard on this in the coming year and get past this block that I have become so used to living with.

I have been spending the last day and half clearing out and organising my endless amounts of paperwork, magazines, research, many varieties of sketchbooks and crafty bits which have been gradually taking over every corner, nook and cranny in our lovely wee flat. I was so determined to get all of this done by the end of the year but shall have to pause till tomorrow now as we are soon heading over to friends to spend the night and celebrate the new  year.

So to all and any who may be reading this - I wish you all the very best for the coming year, I dream that it will be a better world for all of us and that all your lives would be filled with contentment and happiness and joy for the future. Thanks for reading.

Approaching the Dawn of 2007

So, another year is coming to end, a new year comes and a new blog. It seems appropriate that I still have time over the next few days to think, evaluate, plan and dream.

There are a few pieces of my art I would like to begin this blog with. It seems right that they are older pieces of work which I have reworked to make new, so it would be good to display them here,  in order to archive them so that I can make way in my head and heart for the new work that is to come. 

In my final year of art college I made two larger pieces of work which consisted of seperate drawings and images which were drawn onto a larger paper and then used as a transfer print for a corset and leather parts of a costume (maybe I shall display that here at some time in the future, maybe you shall just have to see my website!). As the drawings really did not work together as one piece which could be framed, I decided to divide them up and make smaller individual works out of them, reworking and adding to them so that they told their own story and sometime this changed their focus and meaning entirely. Rather like a novel with chapters that are stories in and of themselves. Here is the first.

Dreams Like Trailing Ivy ink and carbon paper drawing on thick beatifully textured water colour paper.

A depiction of the dreams we often have of the past and of the future, which can be emotionally stimulating, a necessary outpouring of emotions or thoughts from which we can never free ourselves. This could illustrate many times in my life.

This piece is for sale in my etsy shop.

There is alot I need to look back on and much I should be looking forward to, even if it is with a sense of apprehension.

Maybe I should begin by reminding myself of some of the things I have achieved over the last year? Yes that would be good, as there are times when I doubtful I have really moved forward in any way atall, that always changes when I have it in black and white before me, on paper or screen. So....

• I have  completed a 12 week part time business course
• Gained funding in order to begin my small enterprise, Gilfling's Designs
• Begun to develop an image for my business (logo, advertsing etc)
• Moved house into a lovely little rented apartment with the love of my life
• Had another wonderful year (our 2nd) with the love of my life
• Worked on 2 (very small) independant films
• Begun the development of my website
• Opened an online store in the form of my etsy shop
• Begun teaching arts workshops which although is not regular work, is is a great wee income
• Maintained friendships even with the difficulty of distance
• Made new friends in Nottingham
• Exhibited with my local arts group on 2 occassions
• Commenced self employment as a sole trader

Gosh I am sure there is so much more, but I shall pause there for now - Now I realise the last year has not been so bad after all!

Still, I do need to rethink so much over the next few days. There is alot of adjusting of my confidence, attitude and motivation that I need to get to grips with, I need to find where my focus needs to be and have a really strong idea of how I need to move forward in so many ways.