Gillian Lee Smith

The day begins with warmth.

Wow. I logged into Typepad this morning to find so many wonderful, heartwarming and uplifting comments regarding my last post about those fleeting moments of wishing to be in a safe place in the past. I am so grateful to those who have dropped by many times before and to those who are new visitors, for taking the time out to leave such incredibly beautiful words. It was a wonderful, warm start to what is turning out to be an exceptionally chilly day! The last few weeks have not been without their difficulties and I really just felt all cosied up in blogland whilst drinking my morning coffee with a blanket wrapped around me (this house is my favourite place to be in the world right now but boy is it cold!). I really just wanted you all to know how much your comments helped.

Amongst the camera trauma's I have also been having problems loading pictures onto etsy when I am listing which has been incredibly frustrating. I have now worked out that it must be a security setting (or a firewall whatever that it!!) on my laptop which is preventing the images from loading but I now know that I can do it on the PC so that is a huge relief. So the Feeling Empty Inside Tote Bag from this post has now been listed in my accessories shop on etsy.

So now I can reveal this beauty which I am so proud of and having a hard time listing as I would love to keep it for myself! But finances are tight so go in the shop it must. Please excuse the less than satisfactory photographs. It is so dark here even at midday and I have had to borrow a camera which I am not used to but as my own one may be away for a while I must plough on regardless. This bag has sides and is much roomier than the average tote. It features Dreams Like Trailing Ivy which is available as a reproduction print in my my art shop and features those appliqued hand-dyed fabric scraps, free motion embriodery and beautiful wooden handles. Even the lining has a design of leaves on it. Just gorgeous.

I attended a day course at a lovely hotel yesterday which was based on Time Management - or rather achieving more in the time that you have. Now anyone who reads this blog with any regularity knows that I am forever wailing about my problems with time and not being able to get enough done. Well let me tell you that this quote hit me like a brick.....

'Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Hellen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Theresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein."

                                                                                                                                                                H. Jackson Brown

Well I am hoping that was the swift kick up the behind that I was needing. The course taught me that I need to use my time to much greater effect. I don't even mean just in terms of work but in all areas of my life. So there we go. A new lesson learned. I will be trying my very best to put it all into practice. Perhaps this is one of my 'small changes' - I shall let you know as I am putting the things I have learned into effect. Next week you will see a new woman!!

Well as far as time management is concerned anyway......

Have a wonderful weekend!! xxx

Now about those small changes.......where did I put them?

Well my dears, now that it is september, there is a definite nip in the air here in the shire. The fire was lit last night for the second time since we moved here. The blanket has taken up permanent residence on the couch (not that it ever really left) close at hand for a night curled up crocheting, cuddling or reading. I am trying to get into the habit of closing doors (I am afraid I was born in a barn and usually feel quite claustrophobic when too many doors are closed) and I am looking at my wardrobe trying to think of how many items I can layer to together to make an outfit. Not since days long past have knee high socks, bloomers and  a petticoat been worn under a skirt. But they will be making regular appearances here you can bet. Infact I think I may put aside a day next week especially for making bloomers and adjusting more of those victorian petticoats I bought in the summer.

Inbetween sketch book work I have been making a few preparations for a small fair I am sharing a table at this coming saturday at nottingham castle. As well as the usual cuffs and corsages, postcards and prints, I thought it was about time that I began work on an plan I have had for quite a long while but have never quite managed to start. That is to combine my artwork with some one of a kind accessories. All the sewing the last few weeks has quite put me in the mood for doing more and I am finding it quite refreshing as well as relaxing to not have to think too much and just stitch away making new lovely things. This is the first in a series of tote bags and it is not quite finished yet. It features one of my favourite pieces Feeling Empty Inside which has been printed onto linen and appliqued. The bag is yet to be finished as I am thinking of what to put near the top - possibley a removable corsage? Yes I think a corsage will do rather nicely.

The photograph you can see above is only a fraction of the vintage ribbon, threads, embroidery threads and fabric scraps that I have in my possession so I thought it was about time I put it all to good use. One of my favourite things to do when making costumes is to hand or machine dye fabrics. Antique, vintage and thrift store fabrics, furnishing fabrics, linens, silks - you name it I will dye it. I often do tiny little samples mixing colours just to see what will happen. My favourites are mixed fibre patterned fabrics where only part of the design will take up the most dye and you can never really tell what will happen. Well the end result of that is that I have a large bag filled with hundreds of tiny squares of dyed experiments which I have been saving for an opportunity to use them.

You may be able to see if you click on the photo that I have machine embroidered the title of the image onto the bag (rather too low to be seen effectively I am afraid) but I guess this has been a bit of a prototype! There is also my much loved free embroidery in gold metallic thread which I also love to use on my works on paper. There are a few more of these in progress which will be taken to the fair at the weekend and then if still available will be listed in my accessories shop next week.

I have decided to really get my act together in the run up to christmas and apply for a few small craft fairs which will hopefully help me focus on getting lots of new work made!!

Well we all know that I have been a rather poor blogger of late and I am embarassed to admit that in amongst all the busyness I had neglected to mention that a while ago I was nominated for the blogging 'Uplift Award' by the gorgeous Stephanie of Adornments and Distractions. The award was created by the equally wonderful Karen Beth of Zazazu but I am afraid amongst all her incredible and beautifully inspiring blog posts I haven't been able to find the original for the award.

So now I get to nominate other bloggers who I feel are deserving of the award - (this is the bit I truly love!!!!) so here goes (and of course as ever the difficulty is choosing from all the wonderful blogs and bloggers out there!)

Debbie of Craftymoose crafts - I had to nominate Debbie for so many reasons. I have loved visiting her blog to hear of her travels to Europe over the summer and I have certainly been inspired to put together a list of many of the places I want to visit in the future based on the wonderful descriptions she gives. I am always so blessed too by her wonderful and unfailingly supportive comments on this blog and of my work.

Vanessa of A fanciful Twist. I am pretty sure Vanessa has been nominated before but I just had to anyway. Whenever I need a smile brought to my face or I need to be transported to somewhere else in my mind I know exactly where to go! I could go on and on - but I am sure you already know the treasures that await Through the keyhole

Leah of Creative Every Day. Leah's blog is a new discovery to me but I just adore her art and her recording of the process of making art and creativity and daily process.

Nina of Ornamental. I can't even begin to explain what a joy it has been for me to discover Nina's blog. It is a joy to read - the writing is beautiful and meandering and poetic and every detail just makes me want to appreciate more and more the small things which go unnoticed in my every day life.

(Warning: Unavoidable Oscar Style Speech coming up) I do have to say that I am humbled and more that a little embarassed to have been given this award! A while ago (and I do not blame you if you had not noticed this as I have neglected it so very much) I began a wee idea in which I would attempt to make small changes to my life and improve on all those little things that just niggle and prevent me from getting on with things and living my life in the way in which I would like. So began the 'A small change can make all the difference' blogs. Well the original intention was to make a wee change every week - and here is where the confession is - by my calculation I think I have only managed on average one a month!!! And the even bigger confession is that I have not managed to keep all of them going - particularly the morning walk - oh dear - it is all being revealed now isn't it.....

Well ok - so it is my blog and I think I can claim it as my own domain so I here by declare that the  Weekly Small Change shall now become (for me personally) the Monthly Small Change (oh dear that doesn't quite have the same ring to it - or possibly "The Small change I shall make in my life whenever I feel there are changes that need to be made!!!" Yes that might be a bit better if a little longwinded. Oh well - I have now run out of blog writing time as I have a lot of work to do and really should have started about 2 hours ago (eep!) - I have my bookbinding class to attend tonight with my poor teastained half made book - do you think I should take an apple for teacher by way of apology for my careless and clumsy ways?

A release from the constraints of time

It' Thursday! Already! How did that happen??

Well I have been busy, busy painting and working on a few other things amongst packing up boxes (can I say I am tired of that already?). I am loving being in my studio at the moment but am still really unsure if I can keep it on so I am making the most of it.

Here is the finished painting!! I am not sure if you will notice a huge difference from the in progress shot - I think she is softer, more ethereal which is how I wanted her to appear. I really do love her - although I have been working on lots of smaller paintings and illustration type pieces since I re-acquainted myself with art and painting, I really feel this is my first and most  complete finished piece. I have been longing to get back to working on a larger scale and although this painting is still not very big - perhaps 22 x 16 inches (I will re-measure her when I go back down to my studio this afternoon) it feels a big leap from the much smaller pieces I have been working on.

She does have a name - Endlessly waiting to light the way home - and I feel this has been inspired by my holiday in Cornwall and tales of Shipwrecks and sea faring losses and disasters. I read a book fairly recently (the name of which escapes me right now - and unfortunately it is packed away for moving) but it is a non-fiction book about the lives of whalers and sea-farers based in Nantucket (please correct me if I am wittering fairy tales here - my memory has gone!!) but I am sure it is the book which inspired Moby Dick. As well as the exciting tales and adventures and calamities of the sailors, I was also moved by the stories of the woman who were left waiting for their lovers to return, often for months and even years...never fully knowing if they would ever see them again. I feel there must be similar tales from the Cornish coast here in England and I feel it is something I would love to explore more in my work. Gosh I am a melancholy soul!!

One thing I am experimenting with at the moment is trying to forget time - or at least getting out of the habit of clock-watching (unless I have a meeting, appointment or event of course). This I think will fit in nicely with my really, really neglected weekly small change (ok so I can hardly continue to call it a 'weekly' small change but I am hoping to get back on track with it and all caught up soon!!!). By my reckoning this is #5 - and I have been loving putting it into action. Bearing in mind that it is somewhat of an experiment it actually has 2 different aspects to it.

The first is that I am not really a getting up early kind of person. I can really struggle with it and I have previously explained Mark's shifts and the fact that I find them almost impossible to organise myself around! I don't have an alarm clock and instead have become used to using the alarm on my mobile phone which I inevitably switch off in order to gain that extra 10 minutes which invariably turns into an extra half hour. After a particularly tiring day a couple of days ago I decided to not have my phone next to me but to just get up whenever I decided to - well the result was that not knowing what the time was got me out of bed quicker than anthing! The worry of lying there wondering if it was 8 or even 10 o'clock made me get up at 7.15! (and believe me this is early for me!) So I tried the same again last night and was up at 6.20! Long may this continue - imagine how much I could get done in a day! I am also trying really hard to go to bed at a decent time.

The other thing I am not doing with 'time' is clock watching while I am working - I am just being at my studio as long as I feel I need to be there and getting completely lost in what I am thinking and doing which is great!! (As long as I don't have anywhere else I need to be of course!) It seems such a simple thing in one way and yet is really a complete luxury - to get so lost that I don't have to think about anything else.

I am doing a lot of soul searching at the moment - I can be prone to self analyzing and over thinking things which can be exhausting but I do think the positive side to that is the way it is influencing my art. I have a million and one things I want to express and reflect on and I am just revelling in the opportunity I have at the moment to do this. My group of commissions I have currently is meaning that I have a bit of breathing space inbetween working on them to really focus on my art rather that wondering where my next job is going to come from (and the longer that lasts the happier I will feel!)

This piece above was completed yesterday. Titled Finding her way through the shadows - the child is actually me (based on a photo which I may show you in my next post). Since I returned from Scotland there has been alot weighing on my mind as far as my family is concerned - things from the past, worries about current issues and uncertainties about the future. Again - overthinking, worrying and feeling weighed down by some of these issues, I have wanted to express this. It got me to thinking about how much of an effect my family has on me - and I don't just mean in a painful or sad way. The protection, love, affection, their concern for me, my concern for others, the weight and responsibility, the overwhelming feeling of a families history and ancestry - how can this be represented in my work. It occurred to me that I can liken all this to tree's or a forest. Sheltering, threatening, sometimes scary, reaching, clear or hidden paths - so many ways to describe it. Sorry.... again I feel I am so inarticulate, I cannot express what I am trying to say in words - but also I am worried of expressing too much. That sometimes melancholy soul of mine becomes transparent again!!!!

Suffice to say I have many more ideas for future works!

Right I better get on - perhaps a post filled with sweetness and light and colour and delight for the next post??!! Yes I think so.

These 2 pieces (and more) will be part of my etsy shop update which will be happening tomorrow - Friday 13th at 2pm (EST), 7pm (GMT) or thereabouts.

Have a wonderful day!!

A couple of small changes and other bits and bobs

Welcome my dear readers. Well I do hope this week finds you well! Things are good here - just a matter of a small cold which is causing my nose to feel as if it may spontaneously drop off my face - but well we shall just have to get on with things regardless!

So after teaching Saturday and Monday, working on a commission yesterday (and a little more half-heartedly today) I now have a craft fair on Saturday which leaves me little time for painting. I am however working on some experimental but I hope ultimately exciting projects which will be previewed at the fair and then added to my very neglected accessories shop.

They involve this little collection of goodies in the photo and will feature various elements of my artwork as featured in my etsy shop. However it is all ...ahem....as I say...in the experimental stage but I am hoping with a little bit of a wing and prayer that it will all come good in the end. Hopefully I will be able to have a show and tell early next week.

Well I have become a little bit behind with my weekly small change, but not to worry. I am not going to beat myself up about it! So I am actually doing a double update on this week in a sense.

Small change #4 is one that is long overdue!! It comes from my desire for a little bit of me time (as if I don't get enough of that with being self employed in what happens to be my dream job!!). Mark is currently in a job where he works a 'late' shift and as a consequence doesn't get in till much later in the evening. This is so difficult for me to work around! In my effort to spend at least some time with him on a day to day basis I tend to procrastinate to the point of distraction in the morning and am also going to my bed at a ridiculous time in the evening! So actually there are a few changes that need to be made to my daily schedule but they will come later!

This change is inspired by the fact that as a child I used to be an avid reader, so much so that my parents struggled to get me out of my room to either play outside or even go downstairs for meals! Recently I have put very little time aside for the feeling of walking into another world via the delight of reading. So that is my change! To be in bed for a decent time and to actually take time out before sleep to read a jolly good book. And on that note I have to mention the one I am currently reading (amongst others such as this and this) which is Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. I adore it already!! It is funny, wierd, a wee bit horrifying and inspirational! A long standing interest in all things related to the circus, sideshows and folk who are that wee bit different ensures that every turn of the page brings me to another scene of utter delight. Wonderful.

Mmm that seems quite enough on the small changes for today so I shall leave #5 for the next post!

In one of my last posts the ever delightful Lou of artandghosts had commented on her interest in the use of the hands in pieces of my art such as this one so I thought I would quite like to show you where the inspiration comes from! Excuse the terrible photograph of the book pages (I was a bit too lazy to scan on this occassion) but well would you just take a glance at these beauties!!

The images come from one of my favourite books for inspiration - Medicine Man - The Forgotten Museum of Henry Wellcome - a fascinating collection of artefacts collected from all over the world by this explorer and collector of antiquities - particularly those connected to the history of medicine and anthroplogy. I discovered this book when exploring and developing my obsession with all things related to back braces, medical implements and prosthetic limbs ect which came from my Faustus Costume project as described in this post.

Well it seems that these inspirations and desires have creeped into my recent artwork, with my frequent additions of these creepy hands in pieces such as this one and this as well as older pieces such as Lady in Waiting. I often find it difficult to articulate the meanings behind my work and the reasons for the imagery I use.

  I think if I was to put it in a nutshell however, it may stem from my belief that not all beauty is perfect and that which is at first glance ugly or frightening, can also be beautiful. The figures are often doll like, they should be without a soul, a heart - and yet you can tell from their expressons that there is emotion and feeling there. Not all is as it seems at first glance. The faces 'may' be fixed, but the hands which can often reveal emotion and torment or joy and tenderness are also man made, prosthetics, metal and wood. The man made elements of the back braces drawing attention to the imperfections which may lie beneath, a twisted spine, pain - all very human. Mmm when I write it out is all seems a bit contadictorary, a bit confused, but perhaps that is also the point. That is is up to the viewer to decide.

Nonetheless I find these images of prosthetics extremely fascinating and beautiful. And now the sneezing has taken over so I shall have to leave it there!

Enjoy the rest of your day!! xxx